My route to work skirts a rocky foothill. The road isn’t right along the base, but up and around the middle. To left is some hill covered in black lava rock, to the right is a down slope and a few connecting roads. Driving to work, I passed one of the hills and saw a cop, perched and hidden by the angle of the slope. It gave him bull’s eye aim with his trusty radar gun.
Not a big deal to me—I like to speed, but only when it’s appropriate. Say on a five hour trip where some choice speeding can shave off half an hour of drive time. The day in question though; I was driving to work. Needless to say, I was in no hurry.
The word “police” means to protect the peace, which got me wondering what the fuck a speeding ticket has to do with keeping society’s peace. Which got me thinking further; what does most of the shit you can get a ticket for have to do with the protection of peace?
I like to check my local booking’s page. Sometimes I’m looking for people I know, sometimes I just want to see who’s having a worse day than myself. Listed with the images are the arrestable indiscretions are the charges and fines. Sometimes it’s hundreds, sometimes it’s in the ten’s of thousands.
I had speeding ticket I let lapse. It was $87, but after I didn’t pay it within the allotted time; a warrant was issued. If I had gotten pulled over for whatever reason, I would have gone to jail, at which point many more fees would have been tacked on. Lucky for me, I paid the ticket before I encountered a cop.
No other institution can legally kidnap you until you pay the pre-determined ransom.
Let me just say—I don’t like cops but I don’t hate them either. I don’t think anyone should be hated for their job—not cops, hookers, even politicians. I am suspicious of the underlying desire to want to become a cop though. Not all cops, but the cops who are so straight laced they tend to hate any deviance of the law enough that they want to directly go out and cuff them. Developmentaly, black and white thinking is found in eight year olds, and is followed by the ability to have absract thought.
Considering all the fines levied against citizens, I can’t help but see the underlying function of cops not as protectors but as glorified hall monitors who’s main purpose is to generate income by catching rule breakers who are breaking some pretty arbitrary laws.
It’s a $45 ticket if you choose not to wear a seatbelt. Is it dumb not to buckle up? Only if you consider the laws of physics and energy distribution when high speeds suddenly become no speed. Is it because the state has a genuine concern for it’s citizens? I’d say that’s hard to argue in Utah, where you can ride your motorcycle without a helmet.
Also; cop’s in this state get an amount added to their pension per seatbelt ticket—I think it’s $12, I’m not sure though. There are probably other pension stuffing tickets, but the seatbelt fine is the only one I know of.
The last ticket I got, the cop told me to slow it down, to which I replied, “Then what would you do all day?”
“Have a nice day,” was all he said.
Really though, if everyone stopped breaking our laws and no one got arrested—it would be horrible for the state and it’s budget. States would go bankrupt within a month. Criminals are paying into a large chunk of state income. Criminals are patriots and they have the reciepts to prove it.
Honestly, I think if crime just stopped we would see our laws tighten up. More of our daily lives would be monitored and fined. I suspect we’re only a few years off from thought-crimes.
Most times, I’m an admitted pessimist. But I think the difference between pessimism and optimism is how often one likes to be right.
So be a patriot! Commit a crime (and get caught).
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6 comments:
This was a not-so-crappy forward in my inbox a while back:
A highway patrol officer had been waiting to ticket speed limit offenders for hours, but to no avail. Finally, in the last hour of his shift a young man sped by at a over 100 mph. The officer promptly turned on his lights and siren and pulled over the driver.
"I've been waiting for you all day," said the officer.
"Well, I got here as fast as I could," replied the speeder.
The young man was let go with just a warning.
You are a communist piece of shit. Your 2nd best friend is a federal security guard who has a gun and tells people they can't bring their soda pops in the building, and your other friend is just waiting til he has the time to attend the night police academy.
First thing I'm doing is getting a warrant and raiding your house and kight-sticking all your action figures into the trash!
Well that's what I get for having just two friends.
hahahahaha, Im your friend, bastid.
Sounds like something Hitler would agree with...
Remember that time when your friend Erik wanted to be a cop? So he goes to the police station to find out what he needs to do, and immediately following this event gets a parking ticket slapped on his car? So whenever he calls you a communist, remember this little gem of knowledge and you will feel much better.
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