Part II: The Fall of Meathead

I’m all for breaking the rules. But I’m also very much for not getting caught. In fact the latter dictates my willingness to commit the former. Meathead has a different set of rules.

While he served an off shift coworker and her giggling friends, Meathead thought he would up his awesome points with the ladies by “forgetting” to ring up their drinks and sneaking in a free appetizer. I think it made him feel good to flex his bicep with the motion of setting it down and slyly whispering, “It’s on the house.” I bet he’s got a great wink because he’s just so smooth.

Somehow in the course of restaurant history manager’s have picked up on this little exchange. I’ve worked in kitchens where employees did not eat free—unless you were in good with the cooks. That was on shift though. Not out on the serving floor.

Another manager than my own Mrs. Bastard was on shift. Somehow, he was able to walk past the table of giggling girls and notice they were drinking sodas and sharing an appetizer. Somehow he was able to check out their check after they left. Somehow he was able to decipher not all items were on the check.

Sitting down in the small manager’s office, the confronted Meathead plays it smooth. “No way they got drinks. There’s just no way. I might have forgotten to ring in the appetizer.”

To which the manager replied, “Sure, ok. We’re letting you go.”

Meathead is smooth though. He knows his rights. No way you can get fired for giving shit away. That’s barely, technically, a definition for stealing.

“I’ll sue. I’m suing you.”

Here’s the best part. If Meathead had simply served the food and rang everything in and then applied the employee discount, the end total of the check would have been less than the check he brought them. Granted, that’s less impressive maybe to the girls he was winking at. But he ended up costing the giggling girls more and got fired for his trouble.

Rest in peace, oh mighty Meathead.