Pretty Pee Princess!

I consider myself a feminist in that I think a person should get the same amount of pay, respect, whatever, whether they are a man or a woman—which is why I think only women should qualify for the next draft. And I don’t like double standards, so I try to use terms like “slutty” and “cock sucking whore” in a general sense.

I work at a small company that has two bathrooms for either sex to use at anytime. Both the restrooms are identical, and they’re only about 20 feet apart. Let’s call bathroom 1 the main bathroom—most of the people B-line it for that restroom when they can. The majority of the employees that use it are female (as far as I can tell), thus there is a sign on the door politely demanding the toilet seat be lowered.

So for many of my co-workers, bathroom 2 only gets action when bathroom 1 is occupied. However, one of the girls refuses to ever use Bathroom 2, she says only the boys use it, and therefore, it’s dirtier.

Being a feminist, I resent this statement as I don’t feel it’s fact based. Especially since I’ve lifted the toilet seat only to be greeted by beads of urine dripping down the underside of the seat. Maybe you girls don’t realize you’re spraying so intensely, but I assure you it’s disgusting.

Maybe you’re thinking I’m confused—the piss could have gotten there via a male peeing on the toilet rim and then lowering the seat. I wondered the same, but the seat has those stoppers so there’s some clearance between the two surfaces. And, sometimes the urine has a distinctive “blood” color to it. It’s slime trail is much harder to ignore.

On the rare occasion I shit at work—I have to check under the seat, sometimes wipe the wet trails off, wash my hands and meditate on something to distract my thoughts away from I’ve just had to do. And never mind the fact nothing I flush clogs the toilet up, tampon flushers.

God help one of the men who dares leave that seat up though. There’s a girl (separate from the first girl I mentioned, but not cool enough I’m assigning her a fake name) who will walk up and down the halls, checking each room demanding, “WHO LEFT THE SEAT UP! Was it YOU?”

Equality—it’s a bitch.