Serious Bastards

An actual exchange I had at work while manning the facebook chat with a random nerd. This is the first time he contacted us:

Random person: Do you guys buy Magic the Gathering cards?

Me: We do. Bring your cards in and we fill out a form. We have a guy who prices them (who is not me), he usually get back to you within a day or two with an offer for store credit or cash.

Random Person: What do you think my collection is worth?

Me: You would have to bring them in to get that answered by our guy who knows Magic cards.

Random Person: Could I just tell you what I have?

Me: You could, but again, I am not familiar with Magic cards. You're going to have to bring them in. Have a good day.

-

Here's the thing about some of the people who play Magic--they do not care in the least that I don't play. They are still going to tell me about their cards and why they are awesome in the combination they have arranged.

If someone asks, "Do you play Magic?" that means I am about to hear about deck arrangements no matter what I say.

"God, no! Can't stand the game. The people who play it are even worse."

"Yeah? Well, my red-blue deck is defense heavy but if I can get this one artifact out and in play..."