Ho ho ho!

Does anyone have a Santa suit I  could borrow?

Just so we're upfront--I'm going to walk around scowling at children, shaking my head at them and then jotting something down in a notebook before I storm off.

GENIUS!

My son got a whistle in a party bag. It's two-cents worth of loud, shrill and piercing plastic.
   On an eighty-mile drive I only made it a couple of miles before I told him to stop with the whistle.
   Today after about fifteen minutes of hooting I asked him if he thought he was tough. He is eight. Of course he is a tough guy.
   "Oh yeah? I bet you a dollar you can't even break that whistle in half."
   "Really? A dollar?"
   "Yup."

Smartest dollar I ever spent. 

Once Upon A Trip to Mars

'Merica.


That's NASA hard at work (see what I did there?) with their Mars rovers. Read all about it here.

I for one would like to think it was intentional.

I may have been born out of wedlock

But from where I'm sitting you are all just a bunch of illegitimate bastards.

Death in the family

Once upon a birthday I got a DC collectors set of glasses. Wonder Woman, Batman, Superman and Green Lantern. Great for sensible amounts of juice, milk and honey whiskey.
   The other night Batman took a fatal roll off the counter. I tried to save him but he bounced off my outstretched foot--meant to cushion the poor glass,  but alas, he shattered upon the linoleum.
   Today, as I did the dishes and washed the surviving three glasses, I glared at Green Lantern, and like a parent quietly seething at their least favorite child skipping through the room, full of life while their favorite kid lies cold and dead in the ground, I whispered, "I wish it had been you."

Soundgarden's Superunknown got stuck in my car's cd player for a year until after thousands of attempts, it just suddenly popped out on it's own with no one doing anything. I still listen to it.